The Edge Retreat

Have you ever had one of those times when you say you'll do something, or go somewhere? Maybe because someone wants you to, or maybe because everyone else is doing it, or maybe you have no idea why... and then you go...and you know 100% God knew and WANTED you there?

Well that is the story of my life recently. The Edge (college group I go to) went on it's fall retreat this past weekend. Friday after classes we went across Idaho to Silver Mountain resort and stayed there Friday and Saturday night. Walking into the first session Friday night I found myself asking... "Why am I here?" I didn't know very many people, everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, already plugged into deep conversations about God...and I felt like the awkward quiet kid who sits in the corner. Then the speaker starts preaching and after a little while I found myself being critical of a lot of what he was saying and how he was saying it. NOT A GREAT START. However God in His great mercy decided to bless me despite my attitude.

Later that night I was talking with two guys from Moody Bible Institute about our majors. One of the guys didn't go to Faith Bible, but he was just there as the drummer for the worship band that was playing. I asked him what his major was and he said International ministry, I asked why and he said...have you heard of this band called Dizmiss? My jaw dropped, because this is a band that goes throughout Europe playing concerts and sharing the Gospel, but the thing was is that this band is based with Josiah Venture (which is the missions organization that we go through to do English camps in the Czech Republic). I couldn't believe it. I told him that I have done English Camps with JV for the last three years! Long story short we found out that we were in Czech at the same time last summer, same training camp and that we actually rode on the same train had a two minute conversation about living in Spokane...and then we meet again here. WoW. This was a huge encouragement to me and could only have been orchestrated by God. What are the chances that we had actually met (I didn't remember him, but he remembered me after we started talking about all of this) in Czech this summer on a train? Again, WOW! Things that may seem so small to other people, but so big to me is just a reminder of how good God is, how he brings good gifts that aren't even deserved, but I know he was smiling when Wes and I were talking about Czech =)

That night I thanked God and I asked Him to help me listen with open heart and open ears. The next two days were incredible. The speaker still spoke in the same way but this time I could hear God talking in it and through it. The theme for the weekend was "All About Jesus" and thats what it was...He basically asked us if our life was all about Jesus. If he was king of our hearts or if we had placed something or someone else on His throne. He talked about Jeremiah 2:13...

13] for my people have committed two evils:
they have forsaken me,
the fountain of living waters,
and hewed out cisterns for themselves,
broken cisterns that can hold no water.

This is something that I have thought about before, but it really hit home this past weekend. I would like to say that I have Christ reigning on the throne of my heart all the time 24/7... that I only drink from the living waters...that Jesus is #1 in everything. I found myself sitting there realizing instead I settle for dirty, stale water from broken cisterns... or making mud pies like an ignorant child because I can not imagine the offer of a holiday at sea - (C.S. Lewis). This made me so sad. I know I can't be perfect, but why do I settle for less when Christ has given me the means to an abundant life in and through Him? I cannot help but think of Paul in Romans where he says "For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do, and if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good, As it is, it is no longer myself who do it, but it is sin living in me." (7:15-18) It makes it even harder when the things that are good, that are given to me by God...that I love...I can love to much, like friends, family, school, music, even the beauty of creation, if I love them even a little bit more than I love the one who created them, it is still idolatry. It is still leaving the lover of my soul. Paul goes on to say,

"So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a priosoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? THANKS BE TO GOD-through JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD!" (21-24)


So I am stuck it seems...and then... there was the Gospel.  The euangelion. The good news!
"Therefore, there is now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death!" -8:1-2
This is good news... and my heart is filled with a renewed gratitude and worship to my Savior! The Gospel of Jesus Christ is powerful and when confronted by it we can't help but grow more in love with Jesus. I pray that my heart never becomes neutralized to the Gospel!

So although I had ears that didn't want to hear at first, God was gracious and opened both ears and heart, and I left Sunday different from when I arrived Friday. I am so thankful that I had the opportunity to go, and to meet a few new faces, be challenged and encouraged, and really taste and see that the Lord is good!